Thoughts on being 25, marriage, work etc...

25 is like standing on the coast of some vast and seemingly unknowable sea. As the tidewaters of adulthood lap at your feet you are alternately drawn to the depths and repulsed by them. Some days you stare longingly across the expanse, towards the future. Happy images of houses, weddings, and babies crowd your vision and you say confidently “yes, I am ready”….and other days you want to run screaming all the way back to the beach house where your friends are waiting with a case of High-Life and a pack of Camels. The biggest problem with 25 is that for what is maybe the only time of your life, both are equally acceptable. Sure we all knew those girls that married at 18 and by 25 have already settled into a routine of little league and vacation bible school, trading their pom-poms for pacifiers and creating a new family before they even really left their own. Maybe those girls are happy, maybe they are just doing what someone expected, but that’s beside the point because I always knew I wasn’t one of those girls.  Of course we also know those women who at some point well past the age of 30 or so can still be found at bars on weeknights. Whether they have careers or drug habits, they have cats at home and not much else. Maybe they are happy too, but I’m not one of them either. At least I don’t think so. See the farther you are away from 30 or whatever other magical number marks adulthood to you the easier it is to imagine who you will be then. At 18 I was certain that by 30 I’d be married with children and a master’s degree, at 25, I’m not so sure. You think, when you are younger that at some point it won’t be confusing anymore, that life will stop pulling you in two different directions, that one day you’ll just wake up and know what you want. Today is the day I no longer want to watch horror movies at 4 am, or spend my day off, stubble-legged in pj’s reading on the couch. Today is the day that I would happily get up at 7am to turn over to see, not  a de-stuffed dog toy or a handsome stranger but my husband, whom I have seen every morning for some extended period of time and intend to see for the rest of my life, every morning, every one.  Sometime I can even convince myself of this for multiple days in a row. But then something happens, a wink from a cute stranger, a late Thursday with the “coffee night crew,” or realizing I have to choose between doing laundry and eating Taco Bell and I think “who am I kidding?” I cant be a wife, a mother. Married people don’t do those things. Then comes the inevitable internal dialogue of “why?” “Why can’t I still see my friends and stay out till 4 am even if I’m married?” “Why do I have to keep my legs shaven just because I have a husband?” and the answer is simply “because.” Because you think you should, because other people think you should, because we are told to, because if you don’t why did you bother? If nothing is going to change then why change anything? Step two is rebellion. “Well I’m not gonna” I’ll do it my way,” no I wont. Step 3. Despair. I’ll never be good enough step 4. Rejection. Well fine, I don’t want to do it anyway, who wants to be an old fuddy duddy, I”ll have fun forever…..continue circle ad infinitum. Because what I really want is just to know what I want, to know it whole heartedly and then to have the means to do it. Whether its marriage, children, a career, etc I’m just ready to know…

Its That Time Again...

Summer has officially ended in Athens. School is in session and the students have returned in full force. Traffic has quadrupled, as have lines at the grocery store, the streets are packed with very fashionable young women and the bars are open every night. This means a return to regular hours at the National instead of our abbreviated summer hours. That abbreviated schedule left room for lots of fun but left a gaping hole in my finances despite my recent small raise (yay!). So I for one and welcoming the students back with open arms and an open wallet. Football season will begin soon, leading the way for even longer days and more shifts which I will certainly celebrate less enthusiastically by week 2 but which I am looking forward to right now.
Changing seasons also mean changing menus. Though our menu changes regularly throughout each season, a more noticeable change occurs with the seasons as certain local produce becomes unavailable and we more toward more hearty fall fare. Last night I cooked local pork chops over butternut squash cous-cous dressed with sherry-vidalia jus and a peach and green chili chutney. This is one of my favorite dishes that I have cooked in quite awhile. The pork looked lovely seared on the grill, was extremely juicy and, with the bone in, held its place on the plate nicely. I think this dish is really perfect for the in between season, utilizing the first fall squashes in a way that is still light and simple as well as the last of the Georgia peaches.
Another way we ushered in the season with squash was on our scallop plate.  This simple appetizer dish of two large seared scallops drizzled with a little brown butter vinaigrette and set atop a mound of roasted spaghetti squash was a favorite with both guests and staff last night. I had little experience with spaghetti squash but I have a feeling it is going to become a fall staple for me at home and at work.  Spaghetti squash can seem a little intimidating because of its extremely tough exterior however with a sharp knife, a steady hand and a little patience you can enjoy this healthy and flavorful gourd as a base or side  anywhere you might use a typical starch or grain, such as potatoes or rice. Spaghetti squash is so-called for the fibrous texture of its flesh which when prepared properly resembles capellini pasta. This is how we prepare ours:

• Carefully remove the stem and end from the squash and cut in half.
• Scoop the seeds from the interior
• Season the flesh with salt and pepper and coat generously in olive oil
• Place squash face down on a sheet tray 
• Pour 1 cup of white wine and 1 cup of water onto the tray and cover in tin foil
• Back at 300 degrees for approximately 1 hour or until done. The squash should give to the touch but not be mushy
• Allow to cool to room temp before using a fork to loosen the fibrous flesh from the shell
• Serve immediately or store and reheat later by sauteing on low heat for a few minutes

* Sorry for the lack of photos in this post, my phone has been out of order for a while but is back now so look for some photos of these awesome dishes in the near future!

Tapas challenge 2011!

Our restaurant will be taking part in a local food event next week and as our chef will be out of town that day, he created a contest to see who would go in his place and represent The National. We all created a tapas item that featured local products and served them for family meal this afternoon. Some of the dishes create included:

Darby Farm Deviled eggs ~ A deviled egg! With chicken! mustardy, spicy, filling, easy to pop in your mouth in one or two bites with the sweetness of a little local tomato on top. These guys ended up winning the competition. Congrats Coby!

Pork Belly and Peach Relish on a Crispy Pita Point ~ Sweet and spicy with an almost Asian feel. Perfectly crisp pita and a sprig of local arugula added a little crunch and bitterness, rounding out the taste nicely. David's dish was considered the "runner-up."

I made a panzanella salad with local peaches, blueberries, heirloom tomatoes, and jamon serano tossed with basil and sherry vinaigrette featuring a little wedge of some wonderful local cheese, a gouda from Sweet Grass Dairy in southern GA.

Other entries included an adorable little stuffed onion of sorts that I sadly did not get a chance to taste and some simple but beautiful skewers of summer fruits (including pickled blueberries, yum) in a lemon balsamic.

My phone recently had an unfortunate run in with liquid and the camera has been acting up so I only managed to snag pictures of my own and the winner but I hope you can imagine the tasty-ness that we created today! If you are local make sure to come see us and all the other participants at the Taste Your Place Event on July 21st at Cine. Don't forget to check out all the other PLACE events in the following weeks as well.

Contest

Tomorrow we are having a cook-off at work to see who goes to represent the restaurant at a local food show. Wish me luck!

Five Year Plan for a Cook?

So I've been hearing a lot about so-called "five year plans." My Aunt told me I should create one when I graduated college. I love my Aunt, but this is the same woman who has kept a diary since she was 10, has kept every piece of paperwork, receipt, tax information, etc since 1980 and can tell you what she was wearing on a given day at any point of the past 5 years (at least.) Obviously someone who enjoys making lists and plans and scheduling. I have never thought of myself this way. I habitually quit every hobby I ever started from karate to photography mostly because I can't stand to be scheduled. I am the kind of person who may skip out on some event I had planned to attend because, at the last moment I sat down on the couch and saw that "The Craft" was on television yet again and felt compelled to watch (yet again) and lost track of an entire two hours. Now don't get me wrong, I rarely skipped class and I never miss a shift at work but after that my priorities get a little hazy. Maybe I was over-scheduled as a child, hell even as a young adult. My college schedule was pretty brutal; a full course load, a scholarship that required 10 hours a week of community service, a part-time job and a serious relationship. Even then I could find the time to get lost in a book for hours or occasionally clear my schedule for the entire day in order to sit on the couch in my pjs with my roommate and watch a marathon of "America's Next Top Model" (after which neither of us could stand to look in a mirror for nearly a week.)

This being the year of my 25th birthday I've been reconsidering some things about myself and my life. Aside from the disaster that is my finances and toll that has taken on my ability to travel and eat out (among other things), certain things that I always thought were essential to my personality are coming into question. I always wanted to think of myself as a free-spirit, a traveler, a lover of the finer things in life, a bohemian scholar with a pinch of the dilettante thrown in for good measure and now without the ability to do those things that are essential to such a lifestyle and no longer being school, my "unscheduled" ways are starting to look a little more like just being plain messy and lazy.  I work hard, there is no question of that, and certainly standing on ones feet over a hot oven all day does not make one the most active one could be after work, but surely I should be doing something with my free time other than drinking Miller Hi-Life on the porch with my neighbors or spending 6 hours a stretch on YouTube?

I have a job I love, but no plans concerning how that job will ever become more than "just a job."  I have a man I love, but no plans concerning how or where our futures will take us. I love this city but I don't know if it will provide what I need in the future. I like my apartment but I long for a yard. So many things I want and no plans to achieve them. Maybe at least if I made a plan, I would spend my free time working on aspects of it and then should it all still go awry I can say "at least I tried." What's the quote about the best laid plans of mice and men?

The other side of my fights this plan making tooth and nail. I do truly have no desire to be the kind of person that gets up at the same time every day and goes to bed at the same time every night regardless of what they are doing, where they are or who they are with. I don't want to be the kind of couple that has "Tuesday date nights" or scheduled sex. I don't want to be so focused on my plan that I miss out on other opportunities along the way....but mostly I don't want to be disappointed. If you never make a plan, you can always fake any outcome. No matter what happens you can say you planned it that way, or that it doesn't matter or make some beatnik remark about going where the wind blows but if you plan it, if you write it down, if you type it out, show it to someone, and then fail, then you failed, you can't hid it from yourself or anyone else. Aside from that, how can you plan for who you will be in five years? Five years ago I thought I'd be working on a phd program right now, and two years before that I thought I'd be a high school english teacher by now, married and maybe with a child. I don't know what I want to do tomorrow night, how the hell do I know what I want to do in five years?

I'm not sure how it'll turn out but I might give it a shot. If nothing else, maybe I can map out some basics,   fill in a few blank spots on the map. It doesn't help that any website I can find offering advice assumes that everyone works in some sort of nameless office. Tips such as "work with colleagues as a leader on a project that will be seen by upper management" don't really work in my career. I suppose if you are a chef, or a business owner you could make financial plans, or plans for expanding your name recognition, or branding your products; but how exactly is a lowly cook supposed to make a plan out of "cook the best you can, every plate, every shift, and hope someone notices, or you win the lottery?"
I'll let you know how it goes. Feel free to leave advice if any of you out there are "planners."

June

     Theres no two ways about it, I am a complete failure at keeping up with writing. I suppose the good part about this is what when I write I always have a lot to say so here goes the news for now.

Spring in Athens is crazy busy. Being the college town that it is spring is jam packed with sorority and fraternity events, school fundraisers, graduation parties, engagement parties, weddings and more. April and May are two of our busiest months at work and it was a record breaking period this year. It was my first spring in an Athens restaurant as a full-time cook and was both exciting and very, very tiring. 

     Through graduation I was working the same positions I have been working for months now, lunch grill or gm and the occasionally dinner gm. Our chef told me one night in passing that after everything calmed down he'd like me to train on a new station. I said great but didn't think anymore about it assuming it would be awhile or he was just talking in theoretical terms. Much to my surprise the week immediately following graduation I was scheduled for three training shifts on grill. My first couple nights were good, working closely with another one of the cooks I learned how each of the items were to be prepped, cooked and plated. They helped me keep track of which tickets were on fire and which on order and checked my steak temps to help me get a feel for the proper doneness. One Thursday night was surprisingly busy and I had to stand back and let my trainer take over entirely, I could only help him plate and stand by with glazed over eyes trying to follow his movements. A little over a week training and it was time for me to take the line by myself. Summers are typically slow in our restaurant and in Athens in general. Sort of the reverse of a resort town, all the students leave for the summer and town is blissfully quiet and empty. Due to the growing popularity of our restaurant however this summer is apparently not nearly as quiet as is typical. Thursdays are a gamble of night in general, sometimes following the cue of a weeknight and being rather slow, sometimes starting out the weekend a day early with a big bang. I went to work with knots in my stomach wondering which it would be. The night started out steady, not overwhelming but certainly not slow. About 8 pm a storm rolled into town that zapped the power over a 5 block radius and put a quick end to the stream of dinner guests. I ended up having a quite manageable first night on the grill. Hopefully summer with be kind to me and give me a chance to get my flow together before getting my ass handed to me once the students come back to town this fall.  In related news I am now sporting an intense new collection of burns along my forearms as is always the case when I learn a new station and have yet to force my natural clumsiness into some semblance of muscle memory. 

     On the flip-side, I've also been spending a lot of time outside of the kitchen. We've had the opportunity to travel to two of the farms that we source several of our ingredients and produce from and serve food there in the field. The Athens Culinary Federation hosted a brunch in the field at Red Mule farms owned by Alice and Tim Mills. Several Athens restaurants, catering companies, and the culinary program at Athens Tech were there to serve food that highlighted the grains produced at the farm. We had a chance to spend some time outside on a nice Sunday morning, chat with fellow cooks and sample their foods. We watched the big red draft mule, "Luke" grind corn into grits using a mile created by Tim out of old truck parts. For our dish we brought polenta made with Red Mule grain and local braised pork belly topped with a relish made of local radishes and house-made pickled vegetables. 

Chef Peter Dale making radish-pickel relish at Red Mule Farms

"Luke" grinds corn into grits

     Our second event was at Sundance Farms for the Tour De Farm in which cyclist cycle from farm to farm over the course of a weekend and are served a meal created by a local restaurant using food sourced from the farm at which they are staying. Cyclists camp out overnight before moving on to the next farm the following day. For this event we brought food that was cold or room temp and very heathly. Given that these folks had been cycling all day and had another day ahead of them it seemed fitting to give them something that would't slow them down. We really focused on the vegetables that the farm had supplied us including carrots, onions, potatoes, beets and more.

Our Menu:

Chicken panzanella with tomatoes and greens

Potato and beet salad with smoked GA mountain trout, leeks, pecans, and hardboiled egg

Moroccan carrot salad

Sea island red peas with local feta, radishes, and nasturtium leaves 

Kale slaw with grated carrot and shaved baby onion in mustard vinaigrette 

Red mule polenta with seared mustard greens

For Dessert:

Shortbread crumbs, housemade granola, local blueberries whipped in local fresh cream and topped with Booger Hill Honey.

We had a great day despite having a minor mental hiccup and forgetting half of our food on the first trip. We cooked in the family kitchen and served out of their personal china. We toured the farm, petted the dog, chatted with the kids and some of the cyclists. Going to these farms its amazing some of the things you never even think about how they look growing, like celery or brussels sprouts, even spending as much time as I do in the kitchen it never occurred to me to wonder that these things look like in the ground. The dessert was a last minute experimental concoction that really fits the idea of necessity being the mother of invention. With limited ingredients and some time constraints we created a dessert that was sweet without being overwhelming, made the most of our local fresh product, fit the country setting and even looked beautiful! 

Late As Usual

So I am officially awful at keeping a blog as it has been nearly a month that my fledgling blog has been abandoned.

Things are going well at work. I cook hot side at lunch nearly every day now and I am feeling pretty confidant about most of the dishes. Recently I have cooked shrimp al ajillo, pork cheeks in spanish onion soup and grits, a variety to steaks, turkey burgers, lamb kefte, cod wrapped in serrano ham, flounder fillet sandwiches and more. I've picked up a few nights as well, generally one a week. I find that dinner is often easier than lunch since it is more typical garde-manger material. The number of items smaller and more streamlined, only appetizers, salads and desserts.

Speaking of desserts, tres leches ice cream with passion fruit curd. That is all I have to say about that. Amazing. Ok that's all....nom. Well, that too! Ok seriously, just go eat some.

The biggest news of the moment is that I ended my over two year employment at my other job. I miss it but it has given me the opportunity to really focus on what I am doing in my current position, not to mention that it is much easier to schedule one job than two. I hope that everyone realizes that I probably wouldn't have made it in this town without them and I will be forever thankful to them for being there with me through these past two years. I've hung out with a few people since leaving and that's reassuring to know that I hopefully won't lose touch entirely. Who knows, perhaps someday all of our late night, post-work planning and dreaming of a place of our own will materialize. Travis and I used to joke about a hibachi grill style place but that you could call ahead and order anything you wanted the chefs would cook it in front of you, like your own personal cooking show. Manny and I planned "Phillies" over many a beer, a quick, window-front operation that would make us all enough money to go do whatever it is we really wanted to do. Will and I just watched "RuPaul's Drag Race" and kidded about a restaurant populated entirely by drag queen rejects from the show. In honor of my time there I'll leave you with some things I learned.

1) How to make custard from scratch

2) How to make awesome squash casserole and macaroni and cheese

3) How NOT to cut lettuce or bring down the temp of the grill (these were what you might call "trial and error learning" with emphasis on the error, both involved trips to the hospital)

4) That homemade whipped cream is approximately 1 million times better than store bought

5) How to properly organize a walk-in cooler

6) BBQ is good, even on pizza

7) New Belgium beers, MGMT, Bell's Grocery store, Cine movie theatre, the margaritas at Taqueria del Sol, Daily Grocery, and spicy Blenheim's ginger ale are all really good things.

8) I HATE UGA gamedays

9) Cornhole is a game best played in a front yard with good friends a nice breeze and beer in hand

10) That I actually have some aptitude and a lot of love for cooking, a path which began with a slow shift, an empty wallet and a lesson in making banana pudding.

Thanks guys!